Grab a chai. This is going to be a long blog.
When I was 19, I went to an energy healer. Her name was Dianne, she was a registered nurse, as well as an age old hippie. She used a small room in her home to see clients, and I remember walking through her front gate- the entire fence was painted purple, blue, green and pink, alternating posts of pastel.
I laid on the table. Of course, Nag Champa was burning, the smell of it so comforting and magical, and crystals were arranged around the room haphazardly. She had bookshelves filled with folders and papers and dog eared books, oils and potions and cards… and looking back now it kind of looks like my office here at home. A cave, just for women and special journeys.
She placed her hands on my head. And warned me that she may make noises…strange noises or clicking sounds. She told me that she may sway or move or even have to sit down.
Trusting, I told her I was ready. And the noises started. Low, deep grunts, clicks, noises like a hooting owl, and howls, painful and mourning. Hips moving, swaying, and as I peeked out from under my eyelids I thought “is this how it’s supposed to be?”.
That was my first reiki experience. I don’t remember any specific messages from her. Just to rest and let the energy do it’s work.
My second was more prolific.
She was the aunty of my boyfriend at the time. She too, was a nurse, but was straight down the line, no fuss, a small altar in her sterile home. She explained to me that she’d been highly intuitive since she was a child, and that her reiki training took her to higher realms, where she met elders and guides.
I was working nightshift at the time. I had always been a poor sleeper but this was the clincher. My sleep was so erratic, light and disturbed that I was running on next to nothing.
Again, I laid on the table. Ready. It was silent. No music or incense.
Her hands over my third eye, and this bright shining light. She told me that this would help reset my body clock, regulate my pineal gland and stabilise my sleeping patterns. I don’t remember anything else, just that bright light, like a pen torch shining.
When it was over I asked her to show me the torch; thinking it’d be a great investment that I could do at home when I needed to.
There was no torch. She’d used nothing. She had seen the light too, but it wasn’t coming from any physical apparatus.
I had the best sleep of my life that night.
These two experiences, vastly different but both burned into my brain and a definite precursor of what was to come.
Firstly, what is Reiki?
““Rei” – meaning mysterious, transcendental spirit. The Soul. The Sacred. That which possesses an infinite power.
“Ki” – light and energy, something unseen, atmosphere, vital energy, vapour. Breath. The energy of the entire universe.
It’s called Reiki because as a practice it was formally discovered and established by a Buddhist man, Mikao Usui, in 1920’s Japan.
Look beyond the surface though, and you’ll realise that every culture has a word for “Ki”. It is “Prana” in Sanskrit, “Chi” in Chinese and described as Life Force or “Divine Energy” in English.” – quoted from my Master, Sara Brooke.
Having a number of different healing modalities under my belt already, and being an experienced experiencer of treatments, it was only a matter of time before I embarked on this journey of my own.
And it started when, through a chain of people (most of whom were just fly-by-the-night acquaintances) I met a woman who’d not only turn out to be my teacher and master, but also one of my dearest friends.
Sara Brooke is someone I’ve written and spoke about before, and many of you know that it was her mediation classes that really shifted my life in a big way. And when she approached me two years ago and told me I was more than ready to start my reiki journey, I trusted.
The lineage that Sara teaches is powerful, life changing, and requires more than just a weekend to complete. I’ve seen reiki certificates being sold online, and reiki mastership courses over a day. But what we learnt and experienced is something that needs time to integrate. So over two weeks, we had two full days of training for level 1 then the same again for level 2, then again for level 3A.
Level 1, when I go back over my notes, was preparing me for everything that was to come over the next two years. It deepened my intuition, allowing me to trust, and to support myself with the knowledge that this energy force was literally at my fingertips.
Level 2 was getting me ready to shift into a new stage of life, new experiences, and again, looking back, was in full alignment with where I was supposed to be.
It was after these two levels that a whole lot of my life changed, some of it unravelled, and then came back together stronger than ever before.
We moved interstate, leaving behind everything on a whim, craving peace and warmth.
My business evolved into different areas, and very clear visions started dropping in of what the ‘next step’ was.
We lost our beloved Charlie, quickly, suddenly. The grief was heavy, the weight of it affecting our lives enormously. The gifts? New perspective and new direction.
What and who I thought was important, no longer was. The small issues, the bullshit half assed acquaintances, the bullshit unbalanced friendships, just the bullshit….all fell away. Like layer upon layer. Falling away like old skin.
Who I thought I was, who I’d been told to be, what I thought I had to believe…gone.
The old stories in my head (you know the ones!), disappeared. Neutralised.
Whatever was meant to be. Whoever was meant to be.
Level 3 was the most beautiful experience of my life. Some of my classmates found it hard, horrible, heartbreaking… but in saying that, I too experienced that, but with new eyes, quickly found the beauty in the mundane and painful.
In a sentence? I felt like my heart had been ripped out, torn up, put back together and expanded in my chest.
The realisation that everything is everything, and everything is nothing, and nothing is everything.
The understanding that we truly are connected, intertwined…ONE.
The power that is gifted when you realise that nothing is about anyone else but yourself- and then nothing can truly trigger you anymore.
The love that comes from a place purer than anything I’ve ever felt (and I don’t say that lightly. Those that know me, know of my repulsion to the whole ‘lovey dovey bullshit’) and with no strings attached.
The knowledge, cemented, that truly anything we want is possible.
And I wanted to give you some insight into what I personally gained (and it wasn’t all roses).
I asked for Clarity at the start of my journey. And the visions and messages I received were profound.
-A huge splinter being removed from ‘The World’ (my world). Pulling out the pain, removing the grief, lightening the load.
-The Illusion. All fell away. No more illusions.
-A big change in my husbands work situation (a good change).
-A day of pain. True, heart wrenching, throbbing, aching pain that I could feel pulsating through every part of me.
-A strengthening of my boundaries and who gets my time, love and attention.
-Anger and sweet, sweet release
-Injecting more joy + fun into my everyday life
-And then the big one. The big lesson.
And I’ll share this with you, as it’ll make more sense if I do (and as with all of my personal posts, I love to include the learnings…as I’m far from perfect and don’t claim to be!).
I’d been asked to be a part of an interview series on a blog. Of course, I said yes! So I shared the blog once it’d gone live and the image was of me, sitting in a rock face, looking down and smiling. It wasn’t a close up and really, upon looking at it, it could be any stock photo of a girl with long brown hair. The company had put their wording over it, and I tagged them in the post, saying how thrilled I was and that I adored the brand (true!). And then, I saw this.
I was livid. Furious. This was the second week of my level 3A… So I knew that things were going to come up. But this? Seriously?
I won’t lie. It hurt. I wasn’t a sellout. I didn’t (and don’t!) get paid to be in other people’s blogs, nor to promote them. I have always been strict on what I share with my audience as to maintain integrity of my brand and to avoid being the thing I fear the most… a ‘sellout’.
Cut me to the bone, throw mud on my face, but don’t insinuate that I’m a sellout.
The people I showed were equally upset. My friends, family, mentors…and a few people who’d seen the post before I blocked her reached out to me.
Now let me say, I’ve endured worse. I’ve been called every name under the sun (the C-word post was a personal favourite) and have had my work ridiculed and ripped off, my look taunted, my photos mocked. I thought I was over all of that.
The Universe will keep giving you the same lesson over and over and over again, until it’s learnt.
Obviously, I’d not learnt.
So we hashed it out. What did it mean? It was all about her obviously. She was jealous, right? She was envious about something I had, true? She was insecure…..
Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.
I sat with it. Did my reiki before bedtime, just as I’d always done.
And it came through. A vision like I’d never seen before.
A big red X on my website.
My eyes jolted open, and I knew exactly what it meant.
A few weeks prior I’d had a plugin crash and had ignored it (cause you know, that fixes everything!).
That red X was letting me know that the plugin that had crashed, the one that I’d ignored, was telling me in no uncertain terms that I wasn’t valuing my work.
How do I know this?
That crashed plugin gave anyone access to my VIP Members only paid content.
And I sat upright in bed, emailed my developer and got it fixed ASAP.
But what about fixing how I felt about my work? Where did that come from?
Sure, I can write that I’m really pleased, or thrilled, or excited to be xyz, or to do xyz….but did I ever feel it? Do I ever feel as though my work was enough? Did I ever really feel like I was enough?
Could it be a palpable feeling that I would ever understand and relish in?
Sharing the big lesson
So sitting there, with 8 other women in my final reiki class, and sharing this was scary.
And every single one of those women mirrored to me exactly what I could see in them. They called me things like ‘aspirational’ and ‘inspirational’ and when I threw the comments away by saying that ‘anyone can write a book. Anyone can be on a magazine. Anyone can do I what I’ve done!’ I was met with disbelieving stares and head shakes. No, they said. That is all you. That is all you Adele.
You deserve it.
You have worked for this.
You are worth it.
And with that, I could feel it. I could feel that palpable sense of pride and it wasn’t about being ‘full of myself’. It was a recognition or my worth, my souls worth and everything that it’d manifested into the physical.
Just like that, the charge of her comments were neutralised. They no longer hurt, they weren’t pushing my buttons and nor did they matter to me anymore.
Lesson learnt. Cheers to the commenter!
The (Pleasant) Aftermath
A whole host of things have happened.
It’s deepened and heightened my intuition again, taking it to new places and realms.
It’s cemented in some pretty exciting changes to plans we’ve been making about travelling.
It’s shown me the next step, and the step after that and I can see clearly now what has to be done.
It’s bought in clarity where I need it the most, expanded my heart and has me looking at everything in a new way.
Reiki is truly one of the most beautiful experiences that you can do, and I recommend it to anyone who feels called to step up. The World needs more healers- for even if you’re not practicing the modality (like me), you, and those around you benefit greatly from being a beacon of light and love.
You can find Sara at www.spaceinbetween.com.au and find out when she’s running her next reiki workshops there.