This post has been brewing for days. But I haven’t been ready to let it come out; pushing it away and pretending it doesn’t exist is my modus operandi.
But today’s the day.
Many people have questioned our move up North. MANY. Thankfully, none of them my family (for which I’m grateful for).
It happened so fast that I don’t blame anyone. In less than a month, we’d found tenants for our home in Melbourne, found a gorgeous home in Queensland, Paul had transferred through work, and we packed up, moved out, moved up, and unpacked.
And now, here I am.
Feeling a tad fragile.
Completely out of my depths.
I’ve often wondered about the ocean. I’ve stared at it over the years, and tried to put the pieces together, like a puzzle.
The deep blue, the undulating waves, crashing and thrashing and never ending. Churning up the depths, unsettling the sand, and the life that beats below.
And then, on our walk this morning, it (kind of) made sense. The energy, the force. The ocean never looks the same. It’s ever changing. Never still.
My word for this year is Evolution.
And three months in to 2014, that’s what’s happening.
I make it a point to constantly strive to evolve in my personal life and also my business. And this move is doing both.
But why move over 1700 hundred Km away, from the comfort of my home, my family and friends?
It was time.
I love Melbourne. And everything that comes with it. But the never ending call to be here, or there, or everywhere, was getting too much. The pressure of expectation was suffocating. We needed to breathe.
We manifested the move. I visited QLD a number of times last year, for workshops, and for my National Workshop Tour. And every time I was here, I fell a little bit more in love with it.
And I knew we’d be here. We guessed we’d move in 3 years. Less than 6 months later it happened.
Sure, it doesn’t have the endless restaurant choices, hundreds of quirky, eclectic shops and the nightlife that Melbourne does (and I’m still exploring, so it may be here somewhere!) but it has so much more.
It’s quiet. Peaceful. The beaches are devoid of others; the only company we have is the slap and crash of the waves, the birds floating mid-air, and the occasional crab scuttling across the sand (much to Charlie and Hanks interest). It’s private (and please forgive me if I don’t tell you exactly where we’ve moved).
It has warmth. What my cells were crying out for.
It’s relaxed. It’s a tangible feeling that just hits you while you are here.
Our home is gorgeous. It’s open, and light- airy and flowing.
Yes, I miss home.
I miss my mum and dad. I miss my brother. I miss all of my family. I miss my friends. I miss our house- which we bought, loved, fixed up and grew in. I miss the walking tracks we used to take everyday. I miss that view of the city; you know the one- as you are driving down the Eastern towards Hoddle St, and then it catches you, on your left. At night, it’s truly breathtaking. I miss the sounds and the smells. The memories I have of certain places. My favourite restaurants. The balmy nights that warranted a stroll and gelato on Acland st. Shopping and parties on Brunswick st. So many memories.
And it’s still catching up to me.
I burst into tears in a carpark the other day, when a nice man told me I had parked over the line, and he didn’t want me to get hit. I cried when I stubbed my toe on a heavy box (normally expletives are my go-to). I sat on the bathroom floor and didn’t want to get up I was so tired from unpacking. I cried on the phone to my mum the other day; something I rarely, rarely do.
It’s all unfolding. Our house now feels more like home. My things have all found a place. The dogs are happy. I’ve found markets, and shops. I’ve been walking with the dogs morning and night at the most beautiful beaches I’ve ever seen. Everyone is so friendly. I’m cooking again. Today, baking. Waiting for internet, but it’s coming. I’m surrendering and letting go. Going with the process. Life is simple. And there’s beauty in simplicity.
With the move, the evolution of our life, comes the growth of my business.
And it’s growing.
Now, after Bali, after the move, I finally feel like I can sink my teeth into 2014.
Life is what you make it. Home is where the heart is. Time heals all wounds.
Every stupid, corny, old fashioned adage you can think of is true.
We make our lives work. You can agree or not, but everything in your life; surrounding you and inside of you, is there because you created it. There’s no good or bad- there just is. It’s there to teach you, heal you, change you and empower you. WE make it work.
So, this is working.
And it’s fantastic.
There will be moments, hours, days even, that don’t feel like they’re working. Backwards peddling. Treading water. Being swept under those waves.
Then, just like that, I decide to make it work.
And it always does.
Sending you love <3
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